Synopsis: An American Location Scout is in New Zealand to find a location for an upcoming film, only to discover that the New Zealand his local guide is showing him, may not actually be in New Zealand.
BIO: I am a UK based filmmaker, originally from New Zealand. I work as a promo producer in television. I have made several short films, which have played in festivals all over the world.
The Location Scout - a 3minute film
FADE UP/EXT. LAKE- DAY
A heartbreakingly beautiful shot of a lake, overlooked by a majestic snowcapped panorama. Someone’s hands come in to frame making the 'frame shape' that everyone thinks all directors do when setting up shots......this shot holds for the following monologue...
LOCATION SCOUT
(The location scout seems particularly proud of his fingers) These four fingers? They are my bread and butter. But it's not just in-between these fingers that a location scout has to think about, it's what's outside the fingers that's important too. Can I get legal access, can I get power to the set? The logistics of bringing 8 - 2 tonne trucks, 5 caravans and 50 vehicles in. It's not just travelling around the world doing the four fingers...although that's a big part of it..
WIDESHOT-Two people are standing on the shore of the beautiful lake...drinking in the scene, they are in the wilds, completely alone. Standing stoically, the LOCATION SCOUT lifts his hands up to do the four finger frame thing in another direction, just then his cellphone rings...
The LOCATION SCOUT reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone, he walks a couple of steps away from the GUIDE to keep his conversation private.
LOCATION SCOUT
Yeah I'm with the guy now ..he's taking me to see the town next...but it is looking good. Look in any direction and it looks like it's been photo-shoped already. I will make the decision today, but I have a good feeling about this place, I can almost smell the small gold statues.
(He hangs up and goes back to the guide.)
LOCATION SCOUT
These are going to be exciting times, with a bit of luck, we'll be bringing a town the size of your town, to your town..
The GUIDE looks pleased.
LOCATION SCOUT
Right ...lets check out the woods.
GUIDE
Bush.. (looking ever so slightly hesitant) er.. sure.
They walk from the glorious setting through a gorgeous green paddock in which a small flock of white fluffy sheep graze on the hill. They climb over a fence and head toward the thick bush. It's a perfect day, the sun shines down through the trees. Soon they encounter a babbling brook, and leap across the convenient stepping stones nestled in its gentle current, into the bush waiting on the other side, the SCOUT looks around amazed. A thin film of mist rolls in covering everything, it makes the bush seem mystical and magical, like anything is possible.
LOCATION SCOUT
I never knew there were this many shades of green...
Abruptly The GUIDE stops him on the walking track, and points into the undergrowth. There is a rustle... He whispers:
GUIDE
(almost too rehearsed) look, it's New Zealand's famous flightless bird-the kiwi.
(they stand in awe..)
GUIDE
What a rare sight, OH Well- maybe we should head..
LOCATION SCOUT
Wow.....I got to get a closer look.
GUIDE
Well (Hesitating, he hadn't anticipated this level of enthusiasm ) They're pretty shy..
The GUIDE tries to get him to stay put but too late , the SCOUT is off.
He creeps quickly and quietly through the bush, crouching ever so slightly so as not to scare the bird, but as he nears the place where the kiwi was, he slows and begins to straighten. The guide arrives close behind him.
GUIDE
We better get back on the trail.. don't touch it...
LOCATION SCOUT
It's...
GUIDE
it's endangered...
the SCOUT bends down out of shot to pick up the bird, he rises again, with disappointment impossible to conceal.
LOCATION SCOUT
... it's a chicken.... with a cardboard beak taped to it.
The scout lifts a clucking chicken into shot, the chicken has been spray painted brown, the long fake beak has come off in the SCOUTS hand.
The GUIDE is doing a bad job of pretending to be equally weirded out.
GUIDE
man... that is weird..
LOCATION SCOUT
What? ...(The SCOUT puts down the chicken and is trying in vain to wipe the brown paint from his arms, chicken feathers are stuck to the paint.)
The SCOUT, looks at the guide then looks around suspiciously, suddenly the beautiful surrounds can't bare the scrutiny of a closer look, the native trees and ferns upon touching are now plastic, he moves some earth to find its paper mache underneath.. He scrapes bark off a tree to find its paper mache underneath that too, This perfect day is now spinning wildly out of control into a manic episode of the Twiglight Zone. Suspicion is turning to outrage.
He turns to run back to the track but trips on something in the undergrowth, there is a guy looking guilty crouching with his finger on the button of a smoke machine. To punctuate the moment- the machine lets out a little puff of smoke.
The scout continues to make his way back the way he came, the GUIDE runs after him. The SCOUT quickly crosses the creek on the stepping stones, but falls in midway. He sits up in the creek. He examines the stone that he fell off, he lifts it out of the creek. It's painted polystyrene. Dispare and disbelieve show on his face.
LOCATION SCOUT
Fake!
He examins the rest of the rocks
LOCATION SCOUT
..all fake!
Drenched and sore from his earlier fall, the LOCATION SCOUT runs through toward the paddock with the sheep, he runs for the fence they climbed earlier, intending to leap it, but instead of vaulting himself over as previous, he runs through it like he was bursting through some saloon doors, as the fence smashes like balsa wood, he hits the ground and glares back at the GUIDE, giving him a furious 'just how low will you stoop' look that wives normally reserve for wayward husbands.
As he turns to get up, one of the sheep is staring straight at him. The magnificent sheep he passed along the way, are nothing but a collection of mangy border collies wrapped in a crude amalgamation of sheep skin, cotton wool, and cellotape.
He looks down at the lush green grass on which the sheep had been grazing and lifts a section like a grounds keeper would on a imported football pitch, yep -paper mache underneath. This New Zealand is fake.
CUT TO:
The pair reach the idylic opening scene by the lake, delirious with panic
He arrives at their car by the lake, the Guide arrives behind him. As an act of defiance against the madness that is now unravelling around him the LOCATION SCOUT picks up a stone and launches it out toward the mountains that overlooks the lake.
CUT TO:
WS The stone sails through the air and makes a strange impact on what we thought was a glorious blue sky and mountains, they are in fact much closer than we though...the sky and mountains are in fact paintings on a huge sheet....it falls down, billowing like the rapid lowering of a sail on old ship, behind the sheet a rusty inside of some aircraft hanger or massive shed is revealed..... We stay in wideshot as The GUIDE quietly walks out of frame. The LOCATION SCOUT turns around and realises he is alone
Graphic:There's only one 100% pure NZ
END