EXT. NEW ZEALAND LANDSCAPE. DAY.
We fly over a green hill. A beautiful lake opens in front of us. In the middle a small boat with a white sail. (stockfootage)
But in contrast to this wonderful scenery we can already hear voices from the boat.
Woman:
„Richard?“
Man:
„Yes, honey.“
Woman:
„We’re out of diet coke?“
EXT. LAKE. SAILING BOAT. DAY
The camera is now onboard. And we get to know the two sailors. The blonde woman, Angelica, 30, and Richard, her calm husband, 60.
Angelica:
„Richard, it’s too sunny.“
She holds the hand over her eyes for shadow.
Angelica:
„Richard, I am bored.“
EXT. LAKESIDE. DAY.
We fly close to a green steep face. The boat approaches an amazing waterfall.
(stockfootage)
Angelica:
„Richard, I am cold.“
EXT. LAKE. SAILING BOAT. DAY
The camera is again onboard. Angelica starts to panic, because she is getting sprayed by the waterfall.
Angelica:
„Richard, Richard! Not so close! Richard!“
She is completly wet.
Angelica:
(screaming)
„My hair, Richard, my hair. Is all wet. My makeup. Richard.“
Now she starts crying.
EXT. LAKESIDE. DAY.
The boat turns out of the mist . (stockfootage)
Angelica:
(crying)
„I want to go back to the hotel. Right now!“
EXT. NEW ZEALAND LANDSCAPE. DAY.
We fly over a green hill. And the landscape opens into a beautiful valley. (Stockfootage)
EXT. RIVER. DAY.
A man stands alone in river fly fishing. (Stockfootage) In contrast to this calm picture we hear him shouting in the phone.
Angler:
„Katie! What the hell ... Where are you? Why don’t you pick up the fucking phone. ...“
EXT. RIVER. DAY.
The camera is close on a 40 year old banker, with high blood pressure and an italian accent.
Angler:
„Not at your desk, not over the switchboard, you’re having the shits? ... What am I paying my assistant a fucking mobile for? To leave it at your desk? Gimme a callback in two minutes or i go apeshit.“
EXT. MOUNTAIN. DAY.
The helicopter approaches two hikers on a ridge. (stockfootage)
In contrast to the beautiful moment, we hear their voices.
Helen:
„Argh, somebody could have told me, that I have to walk the whole way down as well.“
Jake:
„It makes me wanna puke.“
Helen:
„Do you think, I should have bought the Timberlands in black. I’m never going to wear them again in my lifetime.“
EXT. MOUNTAIN. DAY.
The camera is now close on Helen and Jake, both 25, two tourists from New York City. Jake stops and holds his iphone into the air to search for a connection.
Jake:
„For two days I haven’t updated my status.“
Helen:
„You know, in black they might have been going with the grey dust jacket.“
They walk down again.
Jake:
„The WLAN at the hotel at the hotel is sluggish.“
Helen:
„You think, they might go with the trench coat?“
Jake:
„The last thing I have posted was the photo of the bungee jump. That was the day before yesterday. They must think, we lie dead in bed.“
EXT. WOODS. DAY.
A car snakes it’s way through the woods. Beautiful.
Man 1:
„Fuck no! Who farted again. That’s nasty. Window! Window!“
Man 2:
„Hey, that’s my beer. No. We had the Speight’s. You had the Export.“
Man 1:
„Okay, okay – just a try.“
Sounds of cracking beer cans.
Man 3:
„Hey, shouldn’t we have turned right at the last junction. We are on the way to Rohan.“
Man 2:
„No Rohan, we go to Mordor first.“
INT. BUS. DAY.
The bus is filled with 6 people from different countries. Holland, Germany and Sweden. Three are dressed poorly like Orks, two other wear Hobbit-feet.
Irish 1:
„No we go first to Mordor, than Rohan.“
German 1:
„We are always making, what you want. I thought we are friends.“
Holland 1:
„Orks and Hobbits cannot be friends.“
Some laugh.
German 2:
„Arschloch!“
Holland 2:
„What did the German say?“
Holland 1:
„Throw him out of the car. Throw him out. I am really annoyed by those bloody germans, they can do a Lord tour on their own“
Car breaks.
The Germans are thrown out of the bus in the middle of nowhere. On the door of the bus is a improvised sticker: „Lord of the Rings - International Fan Club.“
German 1:
„You Dutch people, you don’t look like orks, and you also cannot play football.“
All of a sudden a godlike voice with a lot of reverb is to be heard:
God (O.S):
„Hey, you. ...“
With the reverberation we cut to all our tourists, that are awestruck and look up in the sky:
THE WOMAN ON THE BOAT.
THE ANGLER IN THE RIVER.
THE HIKERS IN THE MOUNTAIN.
God (O.S):
„ ... Shut the fuck up.“
EXT. HELICOPTER IN THE SKY. DAY.
A helicopter turns in the sky. (stockfootage)
EXT. HELICOPTER LANDING FIELD. DAY.
A man with a helicopter helmet on a long white beard walks away from a parked helicopter towards the camera. On his Jacket is a mission sign: „Genesis“. He shakes his head. He speaks to himself.
God:
„I gave it away too soon. I should have waited another 500 years.“
My name is Frank Nesemann. I am a writer/ director from Berlin, Germany. If you want to find out more about my work. www.nesemann.com
I am big fan of fast and well prepared shootings. If we find out durring preproduction, that 4 set ups are too much for the production schedule, it would also be possible to solve the angler for example only with the stockfootage,.
Thanks for your time.